On the 13th of February I was admitted into hospital and put directly into ICU in isolation. It started off as a severe lung infection which had spread to my whole body making me septic. For those that are unaware, sepsis occurs when an infection reaches the bloodstream (so the blood becomes ‘poisonous’), which can lead to organ failure, making it potentially life threatening. I had an extremely high infection marker which was ‘off the scale’ – my family was told that an infection marker of 200 was sepsis and 250 was fatal sepsis. Mine was 458. After being admitted into hospital, I was immediately sedated and put on several strong antibiotics. The next day (14th Feb) at 5am I was put on life support. My family immediately flew down from Hong Kong not knowing exactly what happened. Days passed with no signs of improvement. On the 17th of February, I was put on the highest setting on the ventilator. My friends and family were told that if my body was to deteriorate any further while on the machine, I would not be able to make it.
Later in the day a doctor came and talked to my parents about a machine called ECMO, which no one had ever heard of before. It was the last resort of treatment, but the only option left. However, the hospital I was in did not have the ECMO facilities. Only 5 hospitals in the UK have ECMO – so I was then transferred to a specialist hospital in Cambridge for this specific treatment. Because my infection was so severe, it led to my lungs being unable to breathe on their own and exchange carbon dioxide and oxygen. I was diagnosed with type II respiratory failure. My lungs had collapsed and there was a buildup of carbon dioxide in my body, which somehow had to be removed before my blood became acidic.
To just attach an ECMO machine to a patient requires so much accuracy and precision. The average survival rate of ECMO is 40-50%. I was put on ECMO twice – decreasing my chances of survival significantly. I was put on my first ECMO for a week, after the removal of the machine I was able to survive for exactly 14 hours before my body deteriorated again, putting me back to the state I was in on day 1 when admitted. My deterioration caused me to be unresponsive and my parents were called immediately into the hospital at 7:30am. In order to keep me alive they had to paralyze my entire body and later on that day had to re-attach the ECMO machine in the OR. I was sedated through all this, which made it slightly easier for me but not for my family and friends. A few days passed, I was suddenly starting to improve – my infection markers had gone down and soon I was removed off the ventilator and ECMO.
I woke up from my induced coma on my 3rd week, in ICU and still in isolation confused as to where I was and what had happened. The doctors and my family didn’t explain to me much. But, I could sort of tell the state I was in and as calm I seemed on the outside, I was terrified on the inside. I never had any health issues my entire life, so it had come to a shock that I had fallen so ill. When I woke up, I couldn’t talk because they had inserted a tracheostomy in my throat (to help with my breathing), which had blocked my vocal chords. My body was severely weak and I could barely even move in bed because of not being able to eat or drink. Instead, while I was still unconscious my veins were injected with glucose to ‘feed’ me and only until I woke up was a nasogastric tube used for feeding. I had up to 2 seizures, panic attacks and multiple brain ruptures from the treatment. I also had exposure keratopathy, which is a corneal disease due to the breakdown of the corneal epithelium in my eyes (again from the treatment). There were tubes, lines and catheters all over my body and I was injected with high doses of morphine and relaxants to help with the pain.
Day by day I was slowly improving. I was soon transferred back to the original hospital I was admitted to (which was close to my family). I was still in ICU for another week, but in that week so much had changed. All my catheters, tubes and my food pipe were removed throughout that week and I was slowly starting basic physio. My infection was gone by the end of that week and I was then able to move into general ward in a private hospital in Central London.
It was a new experience for me – learning how to talk, walk and eat again. My body had been through a lot (more than I knew) but I just kept pushing myself to get better faster. After getting out of ICU, I was told that I may have to stay in general ward for another 4-6 weeks, but miraculously I was discharged in exactly 1 week and was finally able to go home as an out-patient for another 10 days.
But the recovery didn’t stop there, I still had to continue with more intense physio and build up my strength and weight. Since I was unable to eat or drink for 4-5 weeks, I had lost a lot of weight and was quite underweight. The next few months required a lot of care including psychological and strengthening therapy, to try and get myself back to where I was before all this happened. I was advised to leave university and take the rest of the year off to recover. When I was discharged from hospital I could barely even walk but, slowly day by day, I found myself improving and I knew soon I would be back to how I was.
There were several days I would find myself crying or questioning myself ‘why me?’ while in hospital, even when I was discharged. In situations like this, it is hard to constantly stay positive and not question it all. But this wouldn’t have changed the reality of what had already happened, so instead I thought “How was I so lucky to survive something so life threatening.” The more you train your mind to have positive and happier thoughts, the better the outcome will be. You really never know what’s around the corner. Life doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger and it all starts with your mindset.
Because of the amazing support and prayers I had from my family, friends, doctors and nurses I was able to pull through all of it. I was so unlucky to have gotten such a bad infection, but I was even luckier to have survived it and been given a second chance. I am so happy to say that I will be going back to university in the UK this September!
The purpose of writing this post isn’t for attention or sympathy but rather to show people that with a positive mindset you can come a long way, no matter what the situation is, because you are much braver and stronger than you think. <3
